Happy Easter

For my Theology class this semester, Word of God: Scripture and Tradition, we had to read chapters 17 & 18 from St. Augustine's City of God. The first time I read it, I had no idea what was going on. I was completely overwhelmed with information. Likewise, with the second time. But I made an outline. Then, today, I went back and made an outline of the outline, and I looked for major themes in the text. I give you now a summary of my outline of the outline (an overview of salvation history):
God created Adam. Adam is then technically a son of God. Then, God put Adam to sleep and created Eve from his body. Satan comes along and, because he hates God, breaks his creation. This was the Fall. God says ok, I'll fix it. He calls Abraham. He makes promises to him, his son, his grandson, etc. Every major experience of Abraham and the Israelites prefigures Christ, but there's no time to get into that now. Anyway, after Moses brings the Israelites back from Egypt and gives them the Law, God fulfills the earthly promises he made to Abraham, namely a place to worship and a nation of his descendants. A royal kingdom is established under David. Satan likewise breaks this under Solomon's rule, after the earthly temple is built. By now you're probably thinking, when is God going to make something that Satan can't break? Oh, just wait. Under the royal kingdom, there are prophets that begin to witness the coming of Christ. After the break of the Davidic kingdom, the Roman Empire begins to rise (very slowly). Now there are prophets that are calling for the conversion of the Gentiles. God spoke through the mouth of the prophets this way because he was going to make the Roman Empire conquer the world (at least what was known to be the world at that time). There is the exile, the return, and the Maccabean revolt. Now, most of the world is relatively at peace. The Romans are rising, the Jews have their land back (although under the Roman rule) and there are no prophets among the Jewish people. Then comes Christ. He proclaims a heavenly kingdom under God the Father, through his Son (Jesus himself). Satan sees this and he thinks he can break the Messiah as well. And he does. He stirred up the wickedness in human hearts, and Jesus was crucified. Satan thought this his greatest victory - God tried to make something he couldn't break, and he broke it. But then something happened that Satan didn't quite expect. JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD. He put himself back together. Satan couldn't break him. What was worse for him, Christ, the Son of God, created a bride for himself, the Church. He made his bride from his own body. And he made her eternal too. She was persecuted; Satan tried to break her. But she conquered the Roman Empire, and through it, the world. Though nations rise and fall, Christ's bride is eternal. She awaits his second coming in expectant hope, because when he comes again Christ will be with her forever, in perfect love and unity.
Have a blessed Easter season, Church.

You are Awesome

"You formed my inmost being; you knit me in my mother's womb. I praise you, so wonderfully you made me; wonderful are your works!" Psalm 139:13-14

That, my lovely Catholic amigos, is my favorite bible verse and has been since it was first shared with me almost 3 years ago. Why, you might ask? Well, at the time, I was 15, in the midst/tail end of the painfully awkward middle school/ freshman years. So many new thoughts, pressures, and experiences are thrown at you at this time of your life, and honestly the timing really stinks. As a young teen, I had no idea who I was or who I wanted to be (and I'm sure I'm not the only one who went through this). I was the definition of awkward, just look at my 7th grade year book picture(YIKES). I let every comment anyone ever said define me, and I worked tirelessly to try to recreate myself to fit the eyes of my peers. I didn't hate myself, or even come close to it, but I did constantly find myself wishing to be smarter, or less socially awkward, or more talented, or prettier, or taller(still struggle with this one tbh).

In the meantime, I was going through the confirmation process. In 7th grade, I watched my older brother(and role model) get confirmed. He said he could feel the Holy Spirit in him, which the thought of simply left me in awe. One year later it was my turn, and I guess you could say I was excited but I didn't really get it. For a number of reasons, I guess I just wasn't at the spiritual maturity level to receive the Holy Spirit. BUT long story short, I left mass feeling the same why I walked in: hungry.

But then I read the twenty four words above, and my life got flipped upside down. My revelation went a little like this:

"Alright, so God made me, that's pretty cool, I guess. WAIT WAIT WAIT, GOD made ME. like he actually took the time to create me. He spent time forming the deepest, darkest, ugliest parts of me. HE MADE THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD AND HE STILL FELT THE NEED TO MAKE ME?!? WHY WOULD HE SPEND ALL THIS TIME CREATING ME IF HE DIDNT THINK I WAS WORTH SOMETHING? HE LITERALLY MADE ME BECAUSE HE BELIVIES IN ME.  AND I DOUBT HIS PLANS FOR ME? LIKE WHAT ARE YOU EVEN DOING MARY CATHERINE?!"

and just like that, I wasn't hungry anymore. Accepting the fact that God made me perfectly for a ultimate purpose (glorifying him) brought me peace and freed my heart from worrying about insecurities. With the new room in my heart, I was able to create a home for God. Sure, I have neglected him, and kicked him out of my heart a few times since. I definitely don't have a perfect faith but I think everyone struggles with maintaining an active relationship with God, especially when there are so many unknowns in the future. But at the end of the day, the times when I let the Lord overtake my life and worries, Im a lot happier, and that beautiful fact gives me faith.

SOOOO....
if you're feeling insecure and you don't know what for, just remember you're turning heads when you walk through the door.
sorry couldn't help but bring a little one direction up in here.
But you are, in fact, turning heads, every time you walk through the doors. YOU, lovely person, are constantly turning God's head. For he made you wonderfully, and he believes in the purpose that is you. You may not know what that purpose is yet, and you may not be crazy happy with everything about yourself but that's okay. God created YOU, your strengths and weaknesses, and knowingly put you on this Earth. He made you to be beautiful and strong and absolutely perfect for the purpose you are intended to fill. You may not have it all figured out, but that's okay. Trust the Lord, he has got your back. You are his wonderful work, and nothing or nobody is better at being you.

Remember the Lord took a week to create everything around us, but He took 9 whole freaking months to make you. Just let that sink in.

Hit me up if you ever need a pep talk or just need to talk, and know that you're always in my prayers.

"And this is my prayer: that your love may increase ever more and more in knowledge and  every kind of perception, to discern what is of value, so that you may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ for the glory and praise of God." - Philippians 1: 9-11

Divine Providence

Trustful Surrender to Divine Providence is the title of the book my parish priest gave to me two months ago. Siri has informed me that “Providence” is both the capital of Rhode Island and the manifestation of God's foresightful care for His creatures. Knowing this, I laughed this morning when I came across the same book with the unreasonably long title, lying open on the floor of my car, the spine crushed by a glass shelf. (Don't ask)

I laughed because the natural metaphor machine in my brain immediately struck with me with one of the most accurate spiritual comparisons it has conceived thus far: I treat this book about divine providence the same way I treat actual Divine Providence in my life. I've seemingly overlooked the secret to true happiness! Let me explain…

We are promised constantly in scripture and in the Sacraments that God is always watching over us, protecting us, and caring for us. We see this in Exodus 16, in which The Lord provides for His chosen people of Israel with bread and quail, even as they continued to disobey God's commandments and complain constantly.

Then in Jeremiah 29, a verse we are so familiar with,

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.”

Brothers and sisters, there is a difference between following God's will for us and trusting it. I can walk blindfolded, with you leading me, and still not trust that you're actually taking me for ice cream. In reality, I know that I wholeheartedly listen to God's will for me with an open heart, but doubt and uncertainty still linger. My mouth speaks the word “yes,” but my heart has me wait at the door, until it knows it's safe outside.

To be welcomed into the wonderful mystery of our faith demands a sacrifice of comfort that defies all of our innate survival instincts. God calls men and women to work with lepers and the poor, to strip themselves of all worldly possessions and to give their lives to others. How can we be expected to trust a God who demands so much?

Well, it's not easy and it takes time. So this Lent, as we strive to make sacrifices of time and comfort, and we increase our dependency on God, we can also strive to trust that following God's will is the quickest and surest path to our own happiness and will give us the most fulfilling life here on Earth.

Can ya dig it?

I'd love to hear your thoughts on God's will and providence. 
Text me at 972-825-3477

Peter

     John 21 partly recounts what many know to be the “story of Jesus and the fish,” where Jesus tells the disciples to cast out their nets again and they catch so many that their nets nearly break. This is one of his appearances to the disciples after his Resurrection, and afterwards Jesus has a conversation with Peter. Now, when Jesus was taken away before his crucification, Peter stood outside in the courtyard and denied him three times, just as was predicted. Now, Jesus asks Peter if he loves him, repeating it three times, and thus restores Peter, counteracts his denial.

     I’m not a biblical scholar or theologian, I’m just a teenager with access to the internet, but I do know that the Gospel of John was written in Greek with a greater purpose in mind than recording word for word the life and times of Jesus of Nazareth. In Greek, love’s many dimensions were more clearly defined in that there are four words for love. Storge was natural affection, the type a parent naturally feels for their children and vice versa. Eros is love associated with sexual desire (whose relationship with the other forms is very interesting and complex - see Deus Caritas Est). The two words used here are phileo - often characterized as brotherly love, and agape, love as an act of self-gift, the perfect love that emanates from God.

     The first time Jesus asks Peter he uses the word agape. He asks Peter do you love me unconditionally as God the Father does. And Peter responds that he phieleos him, he loves him as a brother. Again, Jesus asks Peter, do you agape me and again Peter responds he phileos him. Finally, Jesus asks the third time, this time if Peter phileos him, and Peter responds that he does. 

      Jesus saw that Peter was not capable of what He wanted him to be capable of, and yet instead of leaving it Jesus met Peter where he was by asking the third time if he phileos him. And then He did something else. He told Peter that he would be the rock upon which He would found his Church. Peter was a coward, a follower, the ye in "oh ye of little faith." He was just a man. But Christ took him as he was and built His vehicle of salvation upon him anyways. 

“All the empires and the kingdoms have failed, because of this inherent and continual weakness, that they were founded by strong men and upon strong men. But this one thing, the historic Christian Church, was founded on a weak man, and for that reason it is indestructible. For no chain is stronger than its weakest link.”

- G. K. Chesterton

The Nature of the Call

I was in eighth grade when God called me to be a priest. That day changed my life completely, causing me to leave my old life behind and try to follow God. However, this isn't about me; this is about you and your calling and the nature of a calling from God. Here's what I've cone to know about the call from God. 

It's Supernatural!

When God called me, I wasn't active in my Catholic faith, I had never considered the priesthood as a career option, and it certainly had never been suggested or even mentioned to me. In fact, before hearing the words flow through my heart, "I want you to be a priest," I had never even fathomed the possibility of a relationship with God, let alone a life devoted to Him! So I can say with complete confidence that my calling came from God alone. Indeed, even today, four years later, after learning how to recognize God's voice in my life, I still find myself stumped when I ponder His reasoning for asking me to serve Him in this way. 

Therefore, when God calls us, it tends to exist outside the normal limitations of human logic and reasoning, and more often than not, we never expect the outcome. Yet, it is important to remember that despite our own reluctance to throw down our nets and leave our whole lives behind, following God's plan will bring us more joy than any plan we could imagine for ourselves. See Jeremiah 29:11

It means Sacrifice!

Whether you're called to married life, single life, or religious life, there is always some form of sacrifice needed for you to fully live out your vocation. These sacrifices are to be embraced and will eventually bring you peace if you allow yourself to trust God. Sometimes the nature of the call means for us to step away from our current friend group, or let go of something that gives us comfort or pleasure, or to ditch our own plans for our lives, either way, these sacrifices are designed by God not to burden us but to allow us to be more at peace living out our vocation. 

It can be surprising! 

Nobody ever suggested to me that I should become a Priest. Like I mentioned earlier, I had never imagined a world where the priesthood was even a possibility! So when God planted that beautiful seed in my heart, it was as if a whole new reality was revealed to me, the world increased in dimension, a depth of understanding became clear, and God became a person, all in a moment. In one moment, I had total and complete faith in the fact that I was created for one thing and one thing only: to be God's priest. 

Who am I to receive such a mind-blowing, life-changing, world-stopping gift: the gift of faith?

I don't know how or when God will reveal His plan for you, but I can guess that it will knock you off your feet, maybe literally. Start preparing yourself to accept whatever He wants, denying yourself any say in the matter, because quite frankly, He knows better than us what will make us perfectly joyful and content in this life. 

My last bit of advice is never go 100%

God works in ways which we can not possibly comprehend or foresee. Let Him guide you day by day, and wake up each morning open to His Will. So ladies, if you were wondering, I haven't completely closed the door to marriage... Just kidding, verging in innapropriate, but I'm a kid, what can I say? 

This week, I received conditional acceptance into Holy Trinity Seminary. It's been four years since God planted that seed; four years have led up to next Fall. 

To think I will be a seminarian in five months... I realize that there's nothing in the world that could make me happier. 

Brothers and sister, please pray for me and my vocation, and know that I will be doing the same for you. 

Father,

Draw your children in close,

Pull us into your loving embrace,

And whisper your plans for us.

Show us how to listen and follow.

We love you and we thank you for our lives and your providence. 

Never let us go, Lord.

Amen

Stranger Safety

So lately I've been thinking about the body and its significance in relation to our soul.

(That was a hint...this post is a theological/philosophical meditation on the dignity of the human body, so if you're pressed for time please come back and read it later. I'll be throwing a few Theology of the Body quotes at you, so you need time to stop and think those through for yourself.)

Anyway, lately I have been seeing some (mostly unintentional) disrespect for the human body. Now when I say something like that I'm sure most people will think "sexual assault" but that's not really what I'm talking about. I want to focus on more of the day-to-day "manhandling" that can take place between individuals of the same or opposite genders. If you're not sure what manhandling is, a specific example would be goosing (the person you're friends with is walking behind you without your knowledge, and to alert you to their presence, they make a grab at your kidney-region, causing you to erupt in a sound similar to that of a goose). I am certain that I am not the only person on the earth not overly-fond of manhandling, and in fact, after reflecting on TOB and the teachings of St. Paul, I can see why it (although seemingly innocent) is actually very disrespectful.

Before I begin, I would like to give you the link to the specific Wednesday audience I'm taking quotes from: http://www.ewtn.com/library/papaldoc/jp2tb55.htm It's not very long, and I strongly encourage you to go read the whole thing.

That being said, my initial argument for why the body must be treated with respect was twofold: first, because it was created "in the divine image" (Gn. 1:27) and because it is the dwelling place of the individual, unrepeatable human soul. Although these are good arguments, I am far outdone by St. Paul and JPII. Taken from his first letter to the Corinthians, Paul says, "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God, and that you are not your own?" (1 Cor. 6:19). Now I'm sure many of us have heard this verse from our parents when we asked them if we could get a tattoo/piercing/body modification, but JPII explains it for us (thank goodness):

"In Paul's eyes, it is not only the human spirit, thanks to which man is constituted as a personal subject, that decides the dignity of the human body. But even more so it is the supernatural reality constituted by the indwelling and the continual presence of the Holy Spirit in man—in his soul and in his body—as fruit of the redemption carried out by Christ."

 Whoa, what? Is JPII telling us that dignity is given to our bodies by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit?

"It follows that man's body is no longer just his own. It deserves that respect whose manifestation in the mutual conduct of man, male and female, constitutes the virtue of purity. This is not only because it is the body of the person. When the Apostle writes: 'Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, which you have from God' (1 Cor 6:19), he intends to indicate yet another source of the dignity of the body, precisely the Holy Spirit, who is also the source of the moral duty deriving from this dignity."

Yes, yes he is. BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE! In the very next verse (v. 20) St. Paul says, "For you have been purchased at a price. Therefore glorify God in your body." You might have heard once or twice that we were purchased by the blood of the Lamb, Jesus Christ, who God sent "so that everyone who believes in him might not perish but might have eternal life" (Jn. 3:16). But did you know Jesus Christ came not only to redeem our souls, but our bodies as well? Oh, yes. Blessed John Paul II writes:

"Through redemption, every man has received from God again, as it were, himself and his own body. Christ has imprinted on the human body—on the body of every man and every woman—new dignity, since, in himself, the human body has been admitted, together with the soul, to union with the Person of the Son-Word . . . The fruit of redemption is the Holy Spirit, who dwells in man and in his body as in a temple. In this Gift, which sanctifies every man, the Christian receives himself again as a gift from God. This new, double gift is binding. The Apostle refers to this binding dimension when he writes to believers, aware of the Gift, to convince them that one must not commit unchastity."

 So to sum it up: Christ bought you with his blood and sent his Holy Spirit to dwell in you. If those aren't good enough reasons to convince you to respect your body, I don't know what is. And by "respect your body" I mean to put a stop to anyone that tries to manhandle you. Treat yourself and others with the respect you deserve. And although it sounds like a cliché from some safety video, you really do have the right to ask someone to stop touching you in a certain way that makes you feel uncomfortable or disrespected.

Until next time, my friends.

My Catholic Friend

Recently, I was blessed to spend a part of my weekend with one of my good Catholic friends. I drove an hour and forty minutes to where he lives, and we hung out for approximately fifteen hours, just long enough for me to feel totally moved to write about this individual.
Friday night, I rode with him and a couple of his friends to a high school basketball game in a town about thirty minutes away, and during this car ride, and throughout the events following, I was completely surprised and humbled by the inspiring way in which my friend chooses to live his life. Allow me to paint a picture of my Catholic friend...

The first thing that caught my attention happened as we were leaving his house to head to the game. While getting into the car, I tuned into the conversation between the other two guys to hear my friend insist, "...yea, but we're listening to my music." So, as we made our way to the basketball game, discussing various topics ranging from soccer to college, The City Harmonic's "Mountain Top" and Chris Tomlin's "Amazing Grace" rang out in the background from the car stereo. What struck me from the whole experience was the casualness with which my friend inserted his faith into his world, never coming across as forceful or abrasive, but instead functioning as a gentle and quiet witness to what he knows to be truth. Sure, he could have put on 106.1 and we could have been jamming to "Wrecking Ball" and "Blurred Lines," but instead he allowed praise and worship to our God to flow through the car, navigating us towards the path of holiness.

The second situation in which I found myself in awe of my friend occurred after we arrived at the basketball gym. Upon entering the arena, I realized that I had left my wallet in my car back at his house. However, before I even had the chance to tell my friend that I didn't have any money, he turned to me and said he had me covered. Then later, he paid for my stack of pancakes and a glass of chocolate milk at IHOP. I suppose any nice person would have offered to do the same, especially after knowing that I had left my wallet, but my friend's natural tendency towards kindness and hospitality astounds me and leaves me wishing for the development of the same good habits in my own life.

The rest of the night proceeded ordinarily, and before we knew it, we were walking outside to my jeep, preparing for my drive back home. We exchanged words of goodbye, and then I got in my car and headed home, panged with the familiar sadness which often accompanies the departure of friends. About twenty minutes out, I mentally replayed the moment that I left and thought back on what my friend's last words to me had been before I got into my jeep and drove away. Instead of just saying "goodbye" or "see ya soon," my friend said this to me, "Hey, text me when you get home," to which I sarcastically replied, "Ok mom," and before I closed the door to the jeep he said, "yea, yea, I just want to make sure you get home safe."
Twenty minutes later, while pondering on what would happen if one of us were to die before we saw each other again, these were the words that came to my mind.
To me, these words epitomize exactly what it means to be a Catholic friend: to truly, unashamedly, love someone so much, that you take care to make sure they arrive home safely.
In this world, we spend most of our time either sleeping or interacting with other humans, loving, helping, playing, serving, praying, talking, but in the end, a friend is the one who desires that you make it home to heaven, and will do whatever it takes to get you there.

Dear friend, I know that you are not perfect and that sometimes you doubt your uniqueness and beautiful worth, but I write to let you know that God has put you in my life as a blessing, and I write so others may see the beauty of God in the same way it has been revealed to me this weekend. Tonight I pray that I may grow as witness in the ways I have seen you witness to your friends, that I may grow in hospitality and generosity as you have shown me in the simplest of gestures, and that I may grow as a friend and brother to those around me, that I may share the love of God, the very same love which you have shown me. Brother, I look forward with great excitement to the day I will be with you and all our brothers and sisters in Heaven, praising God for all eternity.

"For I have derived much joy and comfort from your love, my brother, because the hearts of the saints have been refreshed through you."
Philemon 1

Crying isn't just for Babies

When tragedy comes into your life, what do a lot of people say? Well, a lot of things, I guess, but I always seem to pick up on the whole "stay strong" thing. While nice to hear someone cares and is supporting you, it's never seemed beneficial to me. I mean, what if you cant be strong? What if you are falling apart into little pieces, but you feel expected to stay strong, so in addition to grief from the tragedy you also feel like a failure and lonely.

Well I am here to tell you, its okay to be weak. You cannot "stay strong" all by yourself. The pressure of carrying that kind of load, all by your lonesome, is crippling. Like grief is such a heavy emotion, the feeling alone weighs your body down. And if you hold it in long enough, your body begins to ache uncontrolably.

Recently experiencing my first major tragedy(a death of a friend), I felt constantly like i had to hold the emotions in. I would fake a smile and go to school acting like I was okay, but I was breaking inside. I felt like I had to be strong for my friends and my family. I didnt want people to worry about me. So everytime tears would begin to come and my throat started closing the way it does when your about to cry, I would fight them back, in hopes no one would notice and worry. 

But then I went to confession, and truly poured everything my heart was carrying out to the priest. I sat waiting for my penitence(hoping i spelled that right) and he told me to go sit with God in silence for 10 minutes and just be there. As I was getting up to go carry this out, he said "Hey, just so you know, its okay to cry." 

And so thats what I did. I waited until adoration(my favorite thing EVER) and i just cried. I cried for the death of a friend, gone way to soon. I cried for her family and their broken hearts. I cried for the memories we shared, good and bad. I cried for the seperation our friendship experienced the last few years of her life. I cried for the pain and fear she felt in the last moments of her life. I cried for the beuaty and love she now knew. I cried because she was with God, and finally happy. I cried for myself, and I let The Lord hold me. I listened to him tell me he was taking good care of my friend, and that she was beautiful, happy, and healthy as ever. 

I wouldnt have opened up my heart to hear what The Lord had to tell me if I had never allowed myself to be weak and cry. Through my weakness, God made me strong, but without Him in my life, "strong" had no meaning. So next time your faced with a challenge, remember its okay to be weak. Seek your strength through God, you dont have to do it on your own, because he says "Fear not,  for I am with you." Isaiah 43: 5. God is with you, what else could be better?!?

MC Halphen

                                                         Rest in Peace Emily

(If you haven't read Isaiah 43 in its entirety DO IT NOW)